Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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