just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
