Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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