We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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