im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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