I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize