There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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