My hand turned me down
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
