if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
