woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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