I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
