my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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