Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
