Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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