Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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