last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
