no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
This girl is more easily done than said...
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
