can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
