We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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