it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize