You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
