What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
