his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
