I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
