I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
