Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
