we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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