No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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