Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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