I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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