I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
