Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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