honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
