one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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