So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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