ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
