i would one night stand the shit outta him
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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