Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
