i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
there is puke in my bra ... again
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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