You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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