Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize