He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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