thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
