He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
