Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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