his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
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