Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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