In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
