in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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