I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
