I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
