I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
