3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
