Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
