is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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