I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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