Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
