I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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