Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
