Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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