Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i drank out of a bidet.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
